i woke up from top surgery with my chest burning. even with the pain, i finally felt relief. in to hold & be held, i use self-portraiture to depict the emotional impact of my experience with gender-affirming care. the work acts as a visual journal that memorializes each state of my being. through the process of image making, i am learning how i envision my new reality. when what was given to me became unbearable, i took the risk of choosing my needs over obligation to the past. i simultaneously feel connection to my flat chest while mourning the loss of a body i’ve always known.
